Wednesday, February 15, 2012

To My Sweet Love

It was a Friday and I wanted to be with this beautiful woman that I had fallen in love with the night before. We stayed up until late hours in the drive way of my parents’ house talking about anything and everything. It didn’t matter what we talked about because I was with the most beautiful woman in the world. She made me smile, she made me hot, and she made my heart jump into my throat every time she moved close to me or touched me. We went our separate ways in disappointment as our feelings for each other remained bottled up. We immediately started texting until early hours of the next morning. We got onto the subject of what we wanted in this relationship. I was scared and told her she was someone I could see myself being good friends with, when in reality I wanted more than just friendship. I then grew a pair and told her that I desperately wanted to be more than friends. I told her that I wanted to kiss her and that I really liked her. My heart pounded for a couple minutes as I waited for her response to my text message. After what seemed like eternity it came…she liked me the same and wanted me the same. I took a gasping breathe of relief and dreamt in anticipation for the following day to come. I haven’t smiled that long and hard in my life.

To be continued….

I love you sweet heart, Matty

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Special Sweetheart

Four years ago today I had my first non-date with a good friend. That good friend and I started to hangout, then as time went on feelings quickly began to rise. We both found ourselves hanging out everyday and pretty much attached at the hip. Then, that deep friendship turned into a deep love for each other. We were both surprised that we could make this love work since it swooped both of us from under our feet.

From February 14, 2008 until today February 14, 2012 we have spent 48 months, 208 weeks, 1,460 days, 35,063 hours, 2,103,795 minutes, and 126,227,704 seconds together. Now, I would be lying if I said every minute has been perfect. My love for my spouse and our deep friend has not grown as much as it has due to our marriage being easy, perfect, everything being handed to us, or life happening as we want it to. Our marriage has experienced trials, excitement, hurt, joy, anger, humility, sadness, charity, heartache, forgiveness, love, pride, cherishment and every other feeling our hearts can experience. Regardless of what has lied before us we have chosen to work it out, stay devoted, loyal, and let go of our pride so that we can change for the better.

We have only been married for 4 years, which isn't a long time. I expect the years to come to probably be filled with even more, oh I don't know, everything. But what I do know is that I will do my best to enjoy it, cherish it, and love my spouse more than I have these last 4 years.
I love you sweetheart more than I will ever be able to put into words. Thank you for all that you do and everything you sacrifice for our family. I look forward to the years ahead and every experience I know we having coming forth because I know you will be right beside me.
Oh and THANK YOU for my 3 dozen roses delivered to my office and your wonderful message!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Getting to Know You

1. What was the first thing that attracted you two to each other?

Matthew's smile.

Mele's eyes and smile.

2. Do you think that physical attributes are more important to maintaining a successful relationship or do you think that friendship maintains a relationship?

Both. Your spouse has to become your best friend if you want the best relationship. We also don't feel it's fair to let your body go once you're married and force your spouse to accept it. People are the way they are, but you can always work at looking good for your spouse whether you're thin or not. For us, mostly it's being happy with the who we are and what we are rather than the outside.

3. Do you think it's ok to keep noticing another woman/man after you are in a committed relationship? Does this change when you are married?

My wife checks out women more than I do and she always says, Hon, look at how pretty she is?" Or pays them some sort of compliment" Just because you get married doesn't mean the opposite sex becomes unattractive. It's definitely not appropriate to lust or make your spouse feel less by checking out someone else, but there are beautiful people out there.

4. What were you thinking about right before you kissed each other for the first time?

Matt: "I'm going in for the kill."

Mele: "This is the moment." Oh wait, I actually said that out loud.

5. What is one of the most funny or embarrassing things that has happened to you – maybe you laughed later?

We would have to say the Canoe accident. Definitely laugh about it now, but not when we had to pay $2,500 bucks to fix the damages.

6. What is one of the most romantic times you've ever had together?

Hum, this is a great question. I know many may feel that this answer is sappy, but it's true. We have had several. Most of our romantic moments have involved little money and little prep time. When the love is flowing, we're both putting each other first, showing cherishment, compassion and then sharing in the that moment as husband and wife, nothing is better than that.

7. Tell a time when you really felt close to your spouse.

Matt: Whether we are holding each other, rubbing up on each other as we pass in the kitchen, or as we tell each other, "I love you," when we hang up the phone. There is no one closer to me in this world than my sweetheart.

Mele: When my husband finds me crying and either picks me up or sits with me and holds me until I'm done and wipes my tears away.

8. How do you feel about arguing?

Arguing is inevitable but must be controlled. It is important and healthy to share your opinion and speak your mind, but not when it involves hurting your loved one or bringing feelings not of the spirit into the relationship. It is also extremely important to pick your battles and avoid unnecessary contention.

9. What two or three problems, if solved, would make the most positive difference in your marriage?

School over with, finding a winning lotto ticket, and the ex going missing.

10. How does jealousy effect your marriage?

Jealousy was never part of our friendship, therefore it's not part of our marriage. A huge part of that, we feel, is due to being secure in our relationship and never doubting our decision to be together. Of course everyone gets jealous from time to time, but it's never been an issue for our marriage.

11. Who is the most protective spouse in your marriage?

Probably Mele. She's extremely protective over me, not in a possessive way, but loving way. If anyone says or does anything to put me down, Mele usually respectfully puts them in their place. However, I would go to hell and back for my girls to keep them safe and to defend them.

12. Who dated the most before you got married?

Matt: Mele and I were mainly relationship type of people in high school and college, but we still dated plenty. Since Mele is older, I'd say she has dated more and since she left several men heart broken.

Mele: I'd say it was probably equal, but Matt was a ladies man for sure.

13. If you saw an ex and your spouse was with you, would it be awkward?

Mele: Depends on the ex. Most of them no, maybe one or two yes. I don't have any ill feelings towards any ex's, but I can't say the same of them towards me.

Matt: I don't think so. I think we'd both walk away teasing each other about it.

14. Who comes first, kids or spouse?

It's hard not to be mama bear, but I'm mama bear towards Matt too. We don't like looking at it as who comes first, because it's not fair making someone choose. We try looking at things more as who's right rather than taking sides. We don't condone negative behavior or mistreatment regardless of who's right or wrong. Sometimes spouse and child are both right, but need to work it out between themselves. Sometimes one of us is wrong and we have to humble ourselves and admit it. Majority of the time, each of us knows what we could have done better.

15. What's the most attractive feature about your spouse?

Matt: Though my wife's physical features are beautiful in every aspect of the word; I would have to say her most attractive feature is her bubbly personality. She is always the highlight of the party and as hard as it is to believe, her personality outshines her smile any day.

Mele: I love Matthew's body from his legs to his smile. He is very well proportioned. Since he paid me such a nice compliment, what's most attractive about Matthew is his compassion and empathy towards people. He has such a way with people.

16. What advice would you give to newly married couples?

Don't mold your marriage according to someone else's. You may have an idea of what is right in marriage, but your spouse may feel differently. Within a marriage, there is always two or more ways of handling an issue, but your two's behavior while working it through is where the right and wrong comes in. The two of you must work out what is best for both of you, not what one feels is best for both of you. Put your spouse's needs above your own and you will quickly find unity in your marriage.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Family Photo's 2012

We finally had new family pictures taken. We decided to go to Foto Fly because its quick, fast, cheap, and they do a great job. We had a lot of fun with the photographer, he was so great with Leilaa and took extra time with us. This was a great way to bring in the New Year!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Shabby Apple

I found a new love and had to share.
I heart Shabby Apple

Mormon Survey

As the "Mormon moment" extends into 2012, the Pew Research Center's Forum on Religion & Public Life Thursday releases a groundbreaking new survey, the first ever published by a non-LDS research organization to focus exclusively on members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and their beliefs, values, perceptions and political preferences.

Entitled "Mormons in America: Certain in Their Beliefs, Uncertain of Their Place in Society," the survey was conducted between Oct. 25 and Nov. 16, 2011, among a national sample of 1,019 respondents who identified themselves as Mormons. The results validate a number of long-held stereotypes (most American Mormons are white, well-educated, politically conservative and religiously observant) while providing a few interesting surprises (care for the poor and needy is high on the list of LDS priorities, while drinking coffee and watching R-rated movies aren't as taboo among the rank and file as you might think).

"While this survey comes amid a contentious election campaign, it is not solely or even chiefly about politics," said Luis Lugo, Pew Research Center director, in the published survey's preface. "Rather, we hope that it will contribute to a broader public understanding of Mormons and Mormonism at a time of great interest in both."

For example, in one very interesting section of the new survey, respondents were asked several questions about what is essential to being a good Mormon. According to the survey, 80 percent said "believing Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ" is essential to being a good Mormon, 73 percent said "working to help the poor," 51 percent said "regular Family Home Evenings," 49 percent said "not drinking coffee and tea" and 32 percent said "not watching R-rated movies.

"To be honest, I found the strong sentiment that 'working to help the poor' is essential to being a good Mormon refreshing and a little surprising," said David Campbell, an LDS Church member who is an associate professor at the University of Notre Dame and who consulted with the Pew Research Center on the new survey. "As a Mormon, I would hope it would be that way, but I wasn't sure what to expect. It's good to see the church's genuine compassion for the poor and needy reflected in these numbers."

People outside the church may or may not be aware of the LDS propensity for compassionate service and other distinctive characteristics. According to the survey, 62 percent of Mormons think that Americans are generally uninformed about Mormonism, and 68 percent feel that they are not viewed as part of mainstream American society. But they remain optimistic, with 63 percent expressing the belief that Mormonism will eventually become part of mainstream society and 56 percent saying that the American people are ready for a Mormon president.

In fact, optimism is one of the themes to emerge from the survey relative to Latter-day Saints. Some 87 percent say they are satisfied with the way things are going in their own life, and 92 percent say their respective communities are excellent (52 percent) or good (40 percent) places to live (this is especially true among Mormons in Utah, of whom 71 percent say their communities are excellent).

But evidently, optimism only goes so far with Mormons.

"I think it is interesting that the respondents are overwhelmingly positive about their communities. They love their communities and everything's fine there," said Marie Cornwall, professor of sociology at Brigham Young University and another advisor to the Pew Research Center on this study. "But when you ask them about the way things are going in the country today, they are overwhelmingly (75 percent) dissatisfied. You would think that their satisfaction with their personal lives would factor into their feelings about how things are going in the country, but there seems to be a total disconnect there."

It should be noted that the Mormon view of how things are going in the country today closely resembles the view of the American public as a whole, among whom 78 percent said they were dissatisfied in an October 2011 Pew Research Center survey.

Generally speaking, the new survey looks at Mormons and their perspectives in four key areas: politics and ideology, religious beliefs and practices, cultural and moral issues and family life.

Politically, there are few surprises. Most Mormons (66 percent) describe themselves as politically conservative, and 74 percent of Mormon voters identify with or lean toward the Republican Party. Philosophically, 75 percent of respondents said they prefer a smaller government providing fewer services to a bigger government providing more services.

Among a number of politicians currently in the spotlight, Mitt Romney is a favorite, being viewed favorably by 86 percent of all Mormons and 94 percent of Mormon Republicans. Even among Mormon Democrats, 62 percent rate Romney favorably.

The other Mormon running for president, Jon Huntsman, is viewed favorably by 50 percent of Mormon voters, while President Barack Obama is viewed favorably by 25 percent — slightly ahead of the rating Mormons bestowed upon another one of their own: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (22 percent).

Interestingly, Latter-day Saints seem to be somewhat divided on the issue of immigration. They are fairly evenly split on whether immigrants strengthen the U.S. because of their hard work and talents (45 percent) or burden the U.S. by taking American jobs, housing and health care (41 percent).

Campbell, who is an expert in the field of religion, politics and civic engagement, said he wasn't surprised by that result.

"Although Mormons are caricatured as being really right wing, on the issue of immigration they are not," he said. "The church itself has been quite a voice of moderation on this issue, and that has resulted in Mormons being more positive toward immigrants than other conservative religious groups tend to be."

Campbell suggests that the LDS Church's missionary program has something to do with that, with Latter-day Saints tending to develop a broader worldview as a result of their missionary service around the world. In any event, he said, "this result really does cut against the stereotype."

In terms of religious beliefs and practices, the survey makes it clear that Mormons are highly religious — again, not a big surprise. Eighty-two percent say that religion is very important in their lives, and 77 percent say they believe wholeheartedly in all of the church's teachings. Fully 83 percent say they pray every day, 79 percent say they donate 10 percent of their earnings to the church in tithing and 77 percent say they attend church at least once a week. According to Pew, "Mormons exhibit higher levels of religious commitment than many other religious groups, including white evangelical Protestants."

Looking at basic, core religious beliefs, 98 percent say they believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 94 percent believe the president of the LDS Church is a prophet of God, 95 percent believe that families can be bound together eternally in temple ceremonies, 94 percent believe that God the Father and Jesus Christ are separate, physical beings and 91 percent believe that the Book of Mormon was written by ancient prophets.

Clearly, Mormons are believers.

But are they Christian? Ninety-seven percent of Mormons think so. And when asked to volunteer the one word that best describes Mormons, the most common responses were "Christian" and "Christ-centered." By way of contrast, a November Pew Research Center survey found that nearly half (49 percent) of non-Mormon U.S. adults say that Mormonism is NOT Christian or that they are unsure whether or not it is Christian. In that same survey, when respondents were asked for one word that best describes the LDS Church, the most commonly offered response was "cult."

Culturally, Mormon conservatism extends to a wide variety of moral issues. Polygamy (86 percent), sex between unmarried adults (79 percent), abortion (74 percent) and drinking alcohol (54 percent) are viewed as morally wrong. Divorce, on the other hand, is largely considered "not a moral issue" by respondents (46 percent).

Similarly, 65 percent of respondents said that homosexuality should be discouraged by society, compared with 58 percent of the general public who say homosexuality should be accepted by society.

"Mormons like to use the phrase, 'Be in the world but not of the world,'" Campbell noted. "They are active and involved in their communities, but they have these beliefs and practices that set them apart a little bit, and sometimes that creates conflict or tension. (Homosexuality) is one of those issues where, rightly or wrongly, Mormons just have a different position than most of the rest of America."

The survey also illustrates how important family life is to most members of the LDS Church. Among life's priorities, being a good parent (81 percent) and having a successful marriage (73 percent) place higher than career concerns, having free time or even living a religious life. Some 67 percent of Mormon adults are married (compared with 52 percent of the general public), and 85 percent of them are married to another Mormon.

"As the Church and its members are increasingly the focus of media attention, we're eager to participate in conversations that help the public get to know us better," said LDS Church spokesman Michael Purdy. "Even though the recent Pew study did not survey any of the Church's eight million members who live outside the U.S., it highlights some important aspects regarding who we are and what we believe.

"For example," Purdy continued, "the study found that Church members subscribe to traditional Christian beliefs, have high moral standards, are overwhelmingly satisfied with their lives and communities, are active in serving others and have a profound dedication to family. These results reflect the Church's message that a deep commitment to the teachings of Jesus Christ brings lasting happiness."

Speaking for the Pew Research Center, Lugo said the idea for the survey was born last summer, "around the time that a Newsweek cover story and a New York Times article declared that the United States was experiencing a 'Mormon moment.'"

"That got us thinking," Lugo said in the survey's preface. "Over the years, numerous polls have gauged public attitudes toward Mormons, who make up about 2 percent of all U.S. adults. But what do Mormons think about their place in American life? With the rising prominence of members of the LDS Church in politics, popular culture and the media, do Mormons feel more secure and accepted in American society? What do they think about other religions? What do they believe, how do they practice their faith and what do they see as essential to being a good Mormon and to leading a good life?"

An advisory panel was recruited to help the Pew Forum staff create the survey. The panel featured a number of Latter-day Saints who have professional experience in Mormon studies and research, including Campbell, Cornwall, Matthew Bowman of Hampden-Sydney College, Terryl Givens of the University of Richmond and Allison Pond of the Deseret News.

"We helped them to formulate the questions, and to frame them in the kind of language that Mormons use," Campbell said.

After a period of testing, the survey was conducted among respondents who identified themselves as Mormons (it also included qualifying questions that made it clear that respondents were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as opposed to other churches whose members may refer to themselves as Mormons).

"Since Mormons represent about 2 percent of the population, you'd have to call 98 people before you'd get a Mormon, and that would be very expensive," said Cornwall, who is also editor of the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. "But they had a fancy way of finding Mormons, including going back to Mormons they had found in the course of doing previous surveys, so they were able to get their sample in a cost-effective way."

Care was also taken to make sure the survey included those who had land lines as well as those who have only cell phones — a growing area of concern among those who conduct public opinion research today.

Among other interesting findings of the Pew Forum's survey of Mormons:

71 percent of respondents reside in the American West, including 53 percent who live in the Mountain states and 34 percent who live in Utah;

88 percent are white, 7 percent Hispanic, 1 percent black and 4 percent other racial and ethnic backgrounds;

50 percent say that evangelical Christians are generally unfriendly to Mormons;

54 percent say that the way their religion is portrayed on television and in movies hurts society's image of Mormons;

57 percent of Mormons said that most or all of their close friends are other Mormons (this number was significantly higher in Utah, where the number climbed to 73 percent);

65 percent of respondents say they hold a current temple recommend;

27 percent say they believe in yoga not just as exercise but as a spiritual practice;

11 percent say they believe in reincarnation;

74 percent were raised in the LDS Church;

59 percent of converts cite the church's beliefs as the main reason they joined the church;

59 percent of converts joined the church between the ages of 18 and 35;

27 percent have served a full-time mission, including 43 percent of men and 11 percent of women;

82 percent say they have a supply of food in storage, and 58 percent keep at least a three-month supply.

The margin of error for the survey is +/- 4.5 percentage points.

"I think this survey is a really good summary of the hyper-committed Mormon community that shows up at church every week," Cornwall said. "I'm not sure it captures Mormons on the margins very well, but that's OK — hopefully we can do that the next time. Meanwhile, this is a pretty good picture — and an interesting picture — of Mormons."

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year Goals

Matthew and I have been contemplating our New Year Resolutions for the past couple of weeks. We have mostly decided that this year we are going to focus on goals that will unite us closer as a family.
This morning I was reading the January Ensign and came across this talk by President Thomas S. Monson and felt this was a great beginning to start our goals and wanted to share with all.

Living the Abundant Life
At the advent of a new year, I challenge Latter-day Saints everywhere to undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for what I call the abundant life—a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness, and blessings. Just as we learned the ABCs in school, I offer my own ABCs to help us all gain the abundant life.

Have a Positive Attitude
A in my ABCs refers to attitude. William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher, wrote, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.
Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we a positive attitude.

Believe in Yourself
B is for believe—in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles.
Be honest with yourself, with others, and with your Heavenly Father. One who was not honest with God until it was too late was Cardinal Wolsey who, according to Shakespeare, spent a long life in service to three sovereigns and enjoyed wealth and power. Finally, he was shorn of his power and possessions by an impatient king. Cardinal Wolsey cried:
"Had I but served my God with half the zeal. I served my king, He would not in mine age Have left me naked to mine enemies.
Thomas Fuller, an English churchman and historian who lived in the 17th century, penned this truth: “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.
Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.
You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

Face Challenges with Courage
C is for courage. Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.
Said the American essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.
There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember—David did win!
Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve.
Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
May we remember these ABCs as we begin our journey into the new year, cultivating a positive attitude, a belief that we can achieve our goals and resolutions, and the courage to face whatever challenges may come our way. Then the abundant life will be ours.